If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
