he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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