I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's never too late to be topless.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
