Only a mothe r could love this liver
we made out on top of his cat.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When are your genitals available?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
