dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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