So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize