What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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