Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
