I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
