He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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