Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
