I'm drive I can fine osifer
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
