I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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