I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
