If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
