the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Success! We fucked roommates!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
