Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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