Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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