we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
