i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
