So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
