can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
