in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
