He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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