my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize