great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
