you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Alive.
So much puke
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
