Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize