Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
