Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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