I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
