Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
