ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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