just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
