I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
