ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My vagina just clenched in fear
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
