The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
