I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
