If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
