its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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