nut hugger
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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