He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
