he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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