There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
