I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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