idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
