Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's never too late to be topless.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize