Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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