You just made me feel so damn special
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
