no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
