Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
