IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
