whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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