You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
