I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
