she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i permit you to call me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I understand Curling. That high.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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