their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
