dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Jerry, you need to find god
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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