you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize