I need help removing her.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
