Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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