Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize