I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I got inside last night via doggy door
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
