Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
