currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
