Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
ttyl tear gas
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
