i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
even my farts smell like vagina
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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