3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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